The GREATLY-FEARED.....mongolian spot.

I always end up with sparks shooting out of my ears whenever adoptive parents' cyber-discussions turn to the topic of Mongolian spots (look here for the technical-speak; good picture at bottom of linked page). I'm tired of them being talked about as something to be concerned about, something to cover up; a fear-inducing blemish that can't fade fast enough. You know, I'm not sure exactly how Korean parents feel about their children's Mongolian spots- perhaps they, too, hope for them to fade quickly for all I know. Regardless, there's something just not right about white adoptive parents bringing children from racial backgrounds in which Mongolian spots are prevalent, into a country where it is more likely that someone will be ignorant about said spot(s)....and then wishing for them to fade away quickly so that the Mongolian spot(s) combined with the ignorance won't cause any trouble. Arrrrgh!

We white adoptive parents of children with Mongolian spots are advised to have these bluish-pigmented spots documented to the Nth degree (pics included) in the medical record. We are also advised to carry a copy of all this documentation with us AT ALL TIMES. In addition, we should show our kids' spots to all their caregivers (and anyone else who might ever glance upon their sweet little backsides), carefully explaining what a Mongolian spot is (so the ding-dongs we trust around our children won't report us for suspected child abuse immediately upon seeing the 'bruises'). Is this normal protocol in countries where the majority of the folks actually know what a Mongolian spot is? Is it normal protocol for people who are parenting their biological children? I detest the fact that this is even an issue. An accusation of child abuse is monumental, in and of itself, but if such accusation were to find its crux in such utter ignorance (sometimes more like stupidity) - well, that possibility just angers me to no end.

I'm a mandated reporter (of suspected child abuse). I understand the rationale for such laws, and of course I believe in measures that would reduce or eliminate child abuse. I understand that mandated reporters are not perfect, nor are they expected to make any sort of inquiry if they have minimal reason to suspect abuse - - I get that. But good golly, a Mongolian spot looks absolutely *nothing* like a bruise - right from the most cursory glimpse by the most untrained eye. So, regardless of the good intentions of the mandatory reporting laws, I don't think anyone who doesn't know what a Mongolian spot looks like should be allowed to be a mandated reporter. Child abuse damages children...hell yea...but so do false accusations of abuse...and so does being forced to bare one's backside to 'educate' all the ignorant madated reporters before they have a chance to report.

I have not completely followed this list of suggestions meant to protect myself from allegations. My son's doctor didn't say a word about the Mongolian spots when he examined him (as it should be, in my opinion - even the nurse's aide commented on them as a 'birthmark'). In fact he was so unconcerned about them that I had to ask him to document them in the chart, which he did - though he didn't seem to think it was truly necessary. And that is the extent to which I've gone to 'protect' myself. I figure that I'm helpless against determined ignorance, anyway (as was proven by the complete nutball that verbally and physically attacked an AP last summer when nutball noticed the 'bruised'-and-crying baby riding in a shopping cart at the local grocery store), so I don't spend my days and nights worrying about it. I understand why adoptive parents of kids with Mongolian spots might be concerned, even worried or fearful about being suspected of abuse. But for me it just doesn't jibe to have white parents wishing the spots away because they are surrounded by people to fear (other white people!).

I know this much: a Mongolian spot is an extremely common birthmark. It looks nothing like a bruise. The fact that measures are not taken to ensure that ALL mandated reporters know what Mongolian spots are, is unacceptable. My son is not going to bear the humiliation of Mongolian spot show-and-tell so that dumb people can oooh and ahh and cringe and gasp over him. In my workplace it is likely that soon enough, we will have inservices with updated information about the laws and discussions about mandatory-reporting scenarios. When that happens, I will be happy to present a session about differentiating Mongolian spots from bruises. I will never wish for my son's spots to fade quickly. However long they last (or remain prominent), I will not give my son any reason to think that he should be worried about or ashamed of this natural pigmentation which commonly manifests within people of his race.