tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33166237.post115968345657641967..comments2013-03-11T09:44:40.974-07:00Comments on True Confessions of Two Adoptive Moms: A Fine LineKahlanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09499709218787464008noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33166237.post-1161996988113352652006-10-27T17:56:00.000-07:002006-10-27T17:56:00.000-07:00should I learn more of the Korean language…Yes, I ...<I>should I learn more of the Korean language…</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, I think you should.<BR/><BR/><I>is it okay for me to call my son by his Korean name…</I><BR/><BR/>I have only ever referred to Pookie by his Korean name, so again, I say yes.<BR/><BR/><I>should I keep the couple of pieces of Korean artwork in the closet…</I><BR/><BR/>My house has Korean artwork throughout. Much of it was given to us by Korean friends and we cherish it.<BR/><BR/><I>should I have planned a regular first birthday party instead of a Dol...</I><BR/><BR/>We did a mixture. We have Korean friends and would have them even if Pookie wasn't in our lives. Actually, it was all of my Korean friends who insisted I wear a hanbok for his party. I had to decline each offer as politely as possible. They were so helpful with his Dol and I felt I *owed* it to him to try and honor his heritage. It hit me a few days before his party that I AM NOT KOREAN and I really relaxed after that.<BR/><BR/><I>should I continue any of the developing friendships I have with Korean people/Korean American people or is that inherently 'taking advantage' …</I><BR/><BR/>Most definitely yes! I would even go as far as to say to SEEK out friendships with Koreans/Korean Americans. As white APs we will never (no matter how hard we try) be able to properly expose our children to Korean culture, traditions, etiquettes, etc. I think if we really put our hearts into developing these connections and not just looking for a contact for Chusok, Dols, etc., it is a very good thing.<BR/><BR/>It truly is a fine line, but you are a mom who is willing to listen and grow and I think that is the biggest thing going for you. Since you are willing to change and realize things aren't always appropriate (as I know I used to think!), I can only think you will benefit your son in doing these things.<BR/><BR/>Of course this is all my opinion, and I've heard that isn't worth much. ;-)<BR/><BR/>I hope I've made sense. We are still on little to no sleep in this house! ;-)Kahlanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09499709218787464008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33166237.post-1160427724263544892006-10-09T14:02:00.000-07:002006-10-09T14:02:00.000-07:00I bought this book last summer but still haven't r...I bought this book last summer but still haven't read it, so many on my "to read" pile. But I need to bump it to the top, for many reasons. I remember reading Cheri Register's first book years ago, and it has always been a favorite. Maybe I should re-read it first, to really see how her perspective has changed.<BR/><BR/>And I think you will know where to draw the line in supporting your child's heritage. There's no 1005 right or wrong way, but clearly there's a line that must be drawn at pretending to be what we're not.Third Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06310395341252295955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33166237.post-1159842363934508852006-10-02T19:26:00.000-07:002006-10-02T19:26:00.000-07:00There is so much I want to say, but I need to proc...There is so much I want to say, but I need to process it some more first.Kahlanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09499709218787464008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33166237.post-1159788008512394362006-10-02T04:20:00.000-07:002006-10-02T04:20:00.000-07:00Wow I have got to get that book! It sounds like it...Wow I have got to get that book! It sounds like it will be challenging and good for me to think through these things as well. You are really laying it out here aren't you?<BR/><BR/>From this point of view I don't understand how learning Korean or having more Korean friends would be taking advantage or taking his culture... It just seems like what a parent would do to learn the child's culture and help him find it. But then I haven't read the book yet...<BR/><BR/>I am reading Primal Wound (finally!) and posting about it and I would love to hear your comments.Andromeda Jazmonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12355192738014962965noreply@blogger.com